[wanabidii] This time our globe-trotting President be in the office

Dear Abiti Mtila,

I hope you had a nice journey in the USA,at the UN summit with your 40-
plus entourage. I hopefully believe they have brought some good news
from kwawo kwa azungu as I also want to believe you had assembled best
beggars in town paja ife ndikupempha tilibe tu nzathu,monga inunso
mukudziwa. How are our brothers and sisters therein Diaspora? Let me
then welcome you back home where you left us playing with our tongues
and saliva to moisten our mouth for we had nothing to bite due to hard
times you created,our toungues were turned into a teething ring.

Now Abiti Mtila as you enter your office today I just want to remind
you that your 'in tray' is so full that it's my prayer that today only
today you will have time to go through it. Look to your right, your
'out tray' is empty so sit down so that I brief you on some issues
that you need to address before I tell you my mind on your frequent
journeys both out and within.

Madam I just want to remind you that while you were away your Good Boy
Khumbo insulted us kuti timapita Pakhomo Pa amanu such that your party
is now called Pakhomo Paamanu(PP). We feel he never respect women. He
even went as far as ordering removal of young children from the beds
while asleep at night which he transferred to his home area where on
9th Oct there will be bye elections and told people there that your PP
led government has bought them for you. The shameful drama that
unfolded from this saga can best be told by him alone , I mean your
Good Boy KK because for me I will only tell you my mind, enough is
enough, I just have to finish briefing you.

Another issue is about shortage of forex and fuel. Do you remember
that economics of speculations is what depopularised the once mighty
DPP? When speculations about fuel and forex scarcity were being
spread by your underground boys, people had to withhold these
commodities hence depriving others of it and accidentally the Big
Kahuna developed cardiac arrest and you found your way in, So madam if
you can't address this mystery I don't want to assume that you will
end just like DPP that suffocated with economics of speculations
because as I am briefing you now here in this office these two
commodities are not available on the market.

I understand madam on your trip to UN summit you took with you our
local chiefs and vendors. In what capacity they accompanied you I
don't want to debate but from what I heard from you is that they went
to discuss developmental issues with their counterparts from across
the world. Now should I assume that our chiefs have met their
counterparts like paramount chief Washington DC, TA New York, Senior
Chief Chicago, Sub TA London etc, I guess it a wonderful meeting eeh?

Now madam your in tray is half done. You see? Had it been you were
here all these would have been in another office but kuyendayenda inu.

By the way do you know that some departments have not gotten their
salaries?? The vouchers are down there so I don't know if you can
allow me to flip through to fish them out or we should go document by
document because I assume you don't care when people will get their
salaries. Or do you? Then you wouldn't have been out for so long or
are you willing to hear my mind about it?

Now madame I just heard your Good Boy announcing salary cut last week
by 30%. Is that what your minister of Economic planning meant in his
Economic Recovery Plan? No I refuse to understand that because in
simple mathematics that is a 10 day allowance for 10 people that you
took to New York and deep down your heart you know you will compensate
it with your trips.

For example if your salaries on average are MK1,800,000.00 ( 0ne
million and eight hundred thousand) that means a save of MK 540,000.00
for each of you and for the remaining 10 months of our 2012/2013
financial year your offices will save K54 million which is small
compared to what you blow in just 20 or so days on an international
trip just as you have done with our K308 million within 21 days.

By the way let us leave the in tray for some minutes and talk about
politics, you need to relax madam. I just wanted to put it to your
attention that the open lock on your party logo has been redefined and
that it has created a bad image for your party. I believe it's because
of your soft heart on prisoners especially those that we call hard
criminals and yet you unlocked the doors and let them go free. People
want to know if it is what you meant on your party logo. Or do you
have a different meaning because people from my home area in Nyezerera
in Phalombe, Nyambiro in Ngabu, Chinguluwe in Salima and Tukombo in
Nkhatabay demand to know of this strange logo that also reflects on
your stance on pardoning criminals that are raping our sisters.

And I got this recently in Ngabu where one of your trusted political
prostitutes Sidik comes from. Do you remember during the opening of
50km Khuluvi Highway in Bangula, Nsanje how he cheated late Bingu how
he was going to amass votes for his brother Peter Mutharika. He said
99.9% of lower shire was going to vote for PM. But later on you easily
forgot and allowed yourself to be fooled again just 4 months after
that that Lower shire was now for PP. lie , a big lie madam. In fact
the lower shire wants to know your ideologies and what that open lock
means otherwise people still regard DPP as there hope and Sidik is no
longer as powerful as he would have been if he were still in DPP. Let
2014 vindicate me when he will be floored by young David. And will
that not shame you madam?

Well madam me as your messenger in this office and your employers out
there we are saying NO! No this time you are going nowhere. Be in the
office and do some few paper work and get your boys to work otherwise
"tikhalira kupemphatu mpaka kalekaletu". Any way if you don't listen
to me I just wish you well but don't forget to buy me " CHIJOYCE "
clothes so that I give it to my granny. She likes it………………………

http://www.nyasatimes.com/malawi/2012/10/03/this-time-our-globe-trotting-president-be-in-the-office/

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