Sunday, 31 August 2014

[wanabidii] MRADI WA MAJARIBIO WA KUFUNDISHA MASOMO YA SAYANSI WA UNESCO WANEEMESHA TANZANIA

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Tafadhali pokea CODES.


<a href="http://dewjiblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/DSC_0018.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-115524" src="http://dewjiblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/DSC_0018.jpg" alt="DSC_0018" width="640" height="427" /></a>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000080;"><em><strong>Mkurugenzi Mkazi wa Shirika la Umoja wa Mataifa linaloshughulikia Elimu, Sayansi na Utamaduni (UNESCO) Tanzania, Zulmira Rodrigues akisoma risala ya kufungwa kwa mradi huo ambao uliojulikana kama Micro Science Kits (MSKs) kwa wadau wa elimu, wakuu wa shule mbalimbali, maafisa elimu na maofisa wa serikali kwenye ukumbi wa mikutano wa ofisi za  shirika hilo jijini Dar.</strong></em></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Na Mwandishi wetu</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>MRADI wa miaka minne wa kusaidia ufundishaji wa masomo ya sayansi kwa kufanikisha majaribio ya maabara uliokuwa ukifadhiliwa na Shirika la Umoja wa Mataifa la elimu na sayansi na utamaduni (UNESCO) na kuendeshwa na wizara ya elimu nchini katika shule 180 zilizopo katika wilaya 34 umemalizika kwa mafanikio huku wito ukitolewa kutafutwa njia ya kuendeleza mradi huo.</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Tangu awali mradi huo haukuelezwa kinaga ubaga unakuaje endelevu kama utaonekana kuwa na manufaa kwa taifa.</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Akitoa maelezo ya kufungwa kwa mradi huo ambao uliojulikana kama <span style="color: #0000ff;">Micro Science Kits </span>(MSKs) kwa wadau wa elimu,wataalamu na maofisa wa serikali, <span style="color: #000000;">Mkurugenzi Mkazi wa Shirika la Umoja wa Mataifa linaloshughulikia Elimu, Sayansi na Utamaduni (UNESCO) Tanzania,</span> Bi. Zulmira Rodrigues aliwataka wadau hao kuzingatia mafanikio yaliyokuwapo,kuangalia changamoto zake na kuona namna ya kuendeleza mazuri ya mradi.</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Mradi huo wa majaribio ulifanyika katika shule za mikoa ya Mbeya, Kilimanjaro, Mwanza, Shinyanga, Dodoma, Kagera, Morogoro, Kigoma na Tanga kwa upande wa Tanzania Bara.</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Aidha ilielezwa katika kikao hicho kilichofanyika ofisi za Unesco kwa lengo la kuufunga rasmi pamoja na malengo yake ya kuboresha elimu Tanzania kwa kuhakikisha masomo ya sayansi yanafundishwa kwa namna inavyotakiwa, tathmini ilionesha udhaifu wa kutokuwepo na mpango madhubuti wa kuendelezwa kwake.</strong></span></p>
<a href="http://dewjiblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/DSC_00151.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-115525" src="http://dewjiblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/DSC_00151.jpg" alt="DSC_0015" width="640" height="427" /></a>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Mradi huu wa majaribio wa MSK ulilenga kukuza uwezo wa kufundisha masomo ya sayansi (baiolojia,kemia na fizikia) kwa shule ambazo hazina maabara kwakuzipatia visanduku vya majaribio pia uliendesha warsha mbalimbali ili kukuza uwezo wa matumizi ya zana zilizo katika mradi wa MSK pamoja na vitabu vya kufundishia.</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Aidha mradi huo ulizingatia pia kuongeza upendo wa masomo ya sayansi kwa jamii na kuwafanya wanafunzi wapende na wawe na hamu na masomo ya sayansi.</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Mradi huo ambao umefanyika kwa kuzingatia pia mahitaji ya taifa na kimataifa chini ya dhana ya kuendeleza masomo ya sayansi duniani unaendeshwa na UNESCO kwa kujenga uwezo wa shule za sekondari na msingi kufanya mazoezi ya utambuzi wa nadharia mbalimbali kimaabara hutoa masanduku maalumu ambayo yanakuwa ni kama maabara ndogo zinazotembea.</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Maabara hizi hutoa uwezo wa kufanyika kwa majaribio ya msingi na yale makubwa kwa kuzingatia  madaraja mbalimbali ya mafunzo kuanzia ngazi za chini kati na juu.</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Katika ufungaji wa mradi huo uliofanyika mwishoni mwa mwezi Agosti washiriki walielezwa maendeleo ya mradi hadi mwisho wake na changamoto zilizokuwa zinakabiliwa.</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Unesco imesema kutanuka kwa kasi kwa elimu ya msingi kumesababisha changamoto za ubora wa elimu katika mfumo wa elimu nchini na mradi wa majaribio ulionesha kwamba ubora unaweza kurejeshwa kwa kuwa na mpango kama MSKs.</strong></span></p>
<a href="http://dewjiblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/DSC_00211.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-115526" src="http://dewjiblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/DSC_00211.jpg" alt="DSC_0021" width="640" height="427" /></a>

&nbsp;
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000080;"><em><strong>Pichani juu na chini ni baadhi ya wadau wa elimu, wakuu wa shule mbalimbali, maafisa elimu na maofisa wa serikali waliohudhuria mkutano huo uliofanyika mwishoni mwa juma.</strong></em></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Kutokana na changamoto za raslimali kushindwa kuhakikisha kwamba kila darasa, mwalimu na mwanafunzi wanakuwa na zana zinazotakiwa kufundisha na kujifunza,walimu na wanafunzi walielemewa na hivyo kuathiri ufundishaji wa masomo ya sayansi ya baiolojia, kemia na fizikia.</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Mathalani matokeo ya kidato cha nne ya mwaka 2011 wastani wa matokeo ya masomo ya sayansi kitaifa uliporomnoka chini ya asilimia 50.</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Fizikia ilikuwa aislimia 43.2, kemia 43.3 na baiolojia 43.4 na katika takwimu hizo zilionesha kwamba wasichana walifanya vibaya zaidi.</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Utafiti ulionesha wazi kwamba udhaifu huo umetokana na kukosekana kwa maabara, vifaa vya kufundishia na upungufu mkubwa wa walimu wa sayansi.</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Pamoja na kuwepo kwa changamoto za uhaba wa masanduku haya ya maabara, tathmini iliyiofanywa ilionesha kwamba mradi ungeliweza kuunganishwa na miradi kama ya JICA na pia kutengenezewa mfumoi wa wa kuweza kuwa endelevu kutokana na umuhimu wake na ufanisi.</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Changamoto kama za masanduku machache kuliko yalivyokusudiwa katika mradi , muda mfupi wa kufunza walimu na pia kutekeleza yote yaliyopangwa na suala la ukaguzi bado mradi huu kutokana na asili yake ungelikuwa na maana zaidi kuendelezwa ili kufikia zaidi shule zilizo pembezoni.</strong></span></p>
<a href="http://dewjiblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/DSC_0009.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-115527" src="http://dewjiblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/DSC_0009.jpg" alt="DSC_0009" width="640" height="427" /></a>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Aidha ili kuendelea na mradi huo tathmini iliyofanywa na kuelezwa na Ellen Binagi katika kikao cha wadau ilishauriwa serikali kufikiria kuanzisha vituo na taasisi za kutengeneza maabara hizo ndogo nchini badala ya kuagiza kutoka nje kutokana na gharama zake na hasa ikizingatiwa kwamba Tanzania ni nchi kubwa na yenye shule nyingi.</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Binagi alisema kwamba kuanzishwa kwa mtindo huo kumeleta muonekano mpya katika upenzi wa masomo ya sayansi na katika shule za majaribio ufanisi wake ulikuwa mkubwa na ipo haja ya kuangalia namna ya kuendeleza.</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Mtathmini huyo pia amesema ipo haja kwa UNESCO na serikali ya Tanzania pamoja na mradi kumalizika kuona namna ya kuuendeleza na kuondoa changamoto zilizoonekana wakati wa utekelezaji wake.</strong></span></p>
<a href="http://dewjiblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/DSC_0012.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-115528" src="http://dewjiblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/DSC_0012.jpg" alt="DSC_0012" width="640" height="427" /></a>

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MO BLOG,
+255714940992.

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Read More :- "[wanabidii] MRADI WA MAJARIBIO WA KUFUNDISHA MASOMO YA SAYANSI WA UNESCO WANEEMESHA TANZANIA"

[wanabidii] UTAFITI WAIBUA MAKUBWA NGONO ZA UTOTONI DAR

Habari za asubuhi,

Tafadhali pokea CODES, nikutakie siku njema



<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000080;"><em><strong><a href="http://dewjiblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/DSC_01401.jpg"><span style="color: #000080;"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-115519" src="http://dewjiblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/DSC_01401.jpg" alt="DSC_0140" width="640" height="427" /></span></a></strong></em></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000080;"><em><strong>Mratibu wa mradi wa PREPARE ambaye pia ni Mwanasaikolojia wa Chuo Kikuu cha Afya na Sayansi shirikishi cha Muhimbili, Kitengo cha magonjwa na afya ya akili, Lusajo Kajula (kushoto) akizungumza na waandishi wa habari baada ya kukamilisha SAMPULI tathmini ya matokeo ya mradi wa PREPARE uliokuwa na lengo la kuangalia uwezekano wa vijana kupunguza ngono mwishoni mwa wiki kwenye kituo cha maelezo ya afya Muhimbili katika idara ya magonjwa ya akili. Kulia ni Mtathmini kiongozi wa mradi huo, Mrema Kilonzo.</strong></em></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Na Mwandishi wetu</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>SAMPULI tathmini ya matokeo ya mradi wa PREPARE uliokuwa na lengo la kuangalia uwezekano wa vijana kupunguza ngono, imebainisha haja ya elimu ya afya ya uzazi kukabili hali ya sasa ya tabia hatarishi zinazowakabili vijana wadogo.</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Matokeo ya awali ya mradi yalionesha kuwa asilimia 10 ya vijana wenye umri wa miaka 12 mpaka 14 ambao ni darasa la tano na sita waliofanyiwa utafiti walikuwa wameshawahi kufanya ngono na asilimia kubwa ikiwa ni kwa kutumia njia ya haja kubwa.</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Kauli hiyo imetolewa na mmoja wa watafiti wa Chuo Kikuu cha Afya na Sayansi shirikishi cha Muhimbili,Kitengo cha magonjwa na afya ya akili, Lusajo Kajula.</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>"Vijana wengi walionekana wakifanya ngono ya uke na ya mdomo ikifuatiwa na ngono ya njia ya haja kubwa Kwa wale ambao wameshawahi kufanya ngono, asilimia 6.3 wamefanya ngono ya njia ya haja kubwa wakati asilimia 93.7 hawajawahi."</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Aidha alisema utumiaji wa kondomu ulionekana kuwa mdogo kwa vijana wadogo ambao wameanza kufanya ngono.</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>"Asilimia 68 ya wale walioanza kufanya ngono hawajawai kutumia kondomu kabisa wakati asilimia 32 wamewahi kutumia kondomu."</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Alisema utafiti huo ni sehemu ya utafiti wa miaka minne ulioshirikisha Vyuo Vikuu vya Makerere cha Uganda, Cape Town na Limpopo vya Afrika Kusini, Bergen na Oslo vya Norway, Maastricht cha Uholanzi na Sussex cha  nchini Uingereza.</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000080;"><em><strong><a href="http://dewjiblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/DSC_0154.jpg"><span style="color: #000080;"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-115520" src="http://dewjiblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/DSC_0154.jpg" alt="DSC_0154" width="640" height="427" /></span></a></strong></em></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000080;"><em><strong>Mtathmini kiongozi wa mradi huo, Mrema Kilonzo akifafanua jambo kwa waandishi wa habari (hawapo pichani) uliofanyika jijini Dar es Salaam.</strong></em></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Alisema utafiti umeonesha haja ya kutolewa elimu ya afya ya uzazi kwa vijana wadogo ambao bado hawajaanza ngono ili kuchelewesha kuanza ngono kwa mfumo wa kisaikolojia ili waweze kujitambua na kuacha kufuata nadharia za kisayansi pekee ambazo ndizo zinazotumika katika shule mbalimbali kuwaeleza mabadiliko ya miili yao.</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Katika utekelezaji wa utafiti huo idadi ya wanafunzi 5,099 walichaguliwa mwanzoni mwa mradi kufanyiwa utafiti huo ambapo wanafunzi 4783 (asilimia 93.9) walifuatiliwa kwa miezi 6 na wengine 4370 (asilimia 85.8) walifuatiliwa kwa miezi 12.</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Utafiti ulionesha elimu inayojishughulisha na masuala ya ujinsia na afya ya uzazi kwa vijana wadogo itumie mtazamo mpana utakaoleta mabadiliko ya msingi kwenye misingi ya virekebisho vya mabadiliko ya tabia.</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Mradi huo wa PREPARE ulitekelezwa kwenye shule 38 kutoka manispaa ya Kinondoni zilizochaguliwa kwa kutumia taratibu sampuli mtawanyiko zilizopangwa katika makundi mawili ya shule za mwingilio yaani ilikotolewa elimu hiyo zilizokuwa 19 na za kulinganisha  zilizokuwa 19.</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Ili kuweza kupata matokeo yaliyokusudiwa mradi ulitoa mafunzo kwa walimu watano wakufunzi wa wakufunzi; ulitoa mafunzo kwa walimu watekelezaji 76,  na waelimishaji rika wanafunzi 132 na kuelekeza watoa huduma 8 wa afya katika kliniki za huduma rafiki kwa vijana ili kutekeleza muingiliano.</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Tathmini iliyotoa majibu ya jinsi utendaji unavyoendelea na ya matokeo ilihusisha shule zote na wanafunzi zaidi ya 6,000 waliowekwa kwenye muingiliano, huku uchambuzi wa tathmini ukihusisha wanafunzi wenye umri wa miaka 12-14, wenye kujua kusoma na kuandika.</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Matokeo yaliyotathminiwa ni Mabadiliko katika masuala ya ngono (kuanza ngono) na Kutumia kondomu wakati wa  kujamiiana kwa wale waliokwisha anza ngono.</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Kwa wastani mradi uliona kwamba mwingilio wa PREPARE ulipunguza uwezekano wa vijana wadogo (wavulana  na wasichana) kuanza ngono na kuongeza uwezekanao wa kutumia kondomu kwa wale walioanza.</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000080;"><em><strong><a href="http://dewjiblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/DSC_01482.jpg"><span style="color: #000080;"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-115521" src="http://dewjiblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/DSC_01482.jpg" alt="DSC_0148" width="640" height="427" /></span></a></strong></em></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000080;"><em><strong>Baadhi ya waandishi wa habari waliohudhuria mkutano huo. Kushoto ni mwandishi wa habari wa gazeti la Mwananchi, Vicky Kimaro akiuliza swali kwenye mkutano huo.</strong></em></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Hata hivyo, katika utekelezaji wa mradi mabadiliko katika uchukuaji wa hatua yalionekana zaidi miongoni mwa wasichana waliopata mwingilio ukilinganisha na wale ambao hawakupata mwingilio.</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Uchukuaji wa hatua ulisababisha tabia ya kutumia kondomu miongoni mwa wanafunzi wa kiume lakini siyo miongoni mwa wanafunzi wa kike.</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>"Kimsingi tunataka kuwaambia wanahabari kuwa miongoni mwa  mafanikio makubwa ya mradi wa PREPARE  ni kuchelewesha kuanza ngono miongoni mwa wanafunzi wa kiume na wa kike wenye umri wa miaka 12-14 katika mkoa wa Dar es Salaam, Tanzania;</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>"Kuongeza uchukuaji wa hatua ulio chanya katika kutumia kondomu kwa jinsia zote na taarifa za ongezeko la utumiaji wa kondomu miongoni mwa vijana wa kiume. "</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Mradi huu uliofadhiliwa na Umoja wa Nchi za Ulaya, Programu ya utafiti wa afya umelenga kuangalia mwingilio ulio katika misingi ya utamaduni na jinsia, endelevu, kijamii ili kukuza ujinsia na afya ya uzazi miongoni mwa vijana wenye umri kati ya miaka 12-14 kwa kutumia shule kama njia ya kufundishia.</strong></span></p>

--
Zainul A. Mzige,
Operation Manager,
MO BLOG,
+255714940992.

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Read More :- "[wanabidii] UTAFITI WAIBUA MAKUBWA NGONO ZA UTOTONI DAR"

[wanabidii] Top Headlines: Undertrials who have served half of their maximum terms to be freed

Times of India
Daily Newsletter | Monday, September 01, 2014
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TOP HEADLINESMORE »
Undertrials who have served half of their maximum terms to be freed
The release of undertrials on personal bond is seen as an important move towards judicial reforms, which would also help in decongesting prisons.
In Japan, Modi and Abe bond over temple tour; will hold talks today
PM Narendra Modi will look to cement strategic and defence cooperation with Japan when he meets his counterpart Shinzo Abe today for crucial summit talks.
Indian home prices fell most in 52 nations, IMF says
IMF’s calculation on the annual percentage change in property prices shows that prices in India fell by 9.1 per cent, the highest among major real estate markets.
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Monsoon magic returns to Delhi, wet week ahead
Delhiites enjoyed a wet weekend after suffering a long dry spell in the middle of the rainy season, as monsoon magic returned to a parched northwest India.
4-year-old sexually assaulted in Delhi
A four-year-old girl was sexually assaulted by a minor in outer Delhi's Begumpur area
21 booked in TN for duping SBI for fake car loans
District crime branch (DCB) police have registered a case against 21 people on Saturday for cheating the State Bank of India (SBI) branches at Veerakeralam and Vadavalli of 1.93 crore by giving fake documents.
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Oracle loses bid to restore $1.3bn SAP verdict
Oracle failed to revive a $1.3 billion verdict in its dispute with SAP as a US court said Oracle must choose to accept a lower amount or face a new trial.
SPORTSMORE »
Balotelli misfires but Liverpool wins at Spurs
Liverpool's speedy attacking unit produced a 3-0 victory at Tottenham on Sunday though Mario Balotelli failed to score on his return to the EPL.
Chen inflicts more world title woe on Lee
China's Chen Long won the men's badminton world singles title inflicting Malaysia's world number one Lee Chong Wei's third successive defeat in the final.
Marc Marquez wins British MotoGP
Runaway world championship leader Marc Marquez made it 11 wins from 12 races this season on Sunday as he won the British MotoGP at Silverstone.
BUSINESSMORE »
Govt ready with ONGC share sale
The government is set to show the green light to ONGC disinvestment over the next few days as the petroleum ministry has decided to rework the subsidy sharing formula that will help the state-run explorer improve its earnings.
Sebi allows govt room to lure retail investors
The Securities & Exchange Board of India has decided against giving any immediate relief to the government to boost share sales through follow-on public offers (FPOs), even as it has provided some flexibility in offer-for-sale (OFS) on stock exchanges to boost retail investor participation in the disinvestment programme.
Sivasankaran seeks bankruptcy protection
NRI businessman C Sivasankaran who rode the telecom wave for two decades is officially bankrupt.
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When SRK, Alia Bhatt made fun of themselves
Many Bollywood celebrities take themselves far less seriously than you’d like to believe — Alia Bhatt’s appearance in a video that parodies her ‘dumb’ image, shows that she’s sporting enough to laugh at herself.
OMG: Armaan Kohli to copy Elvis Presley
Armaan Kohli will be seen sporting an Elvis Presley-like Pompadour hairstyle in a forthcoming film.
Hottest pin up girls of Bollywood
With her bold and bindaas approach Poonam Pandey has surely made a special spot for herself in the list.
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Copyright 2014 Bennett Coleman & Co. Ltd. All rights reserved. For reprint rights: Times Syndication Service
Read More :- "[wanabidii] Top Headlines: Undertrials who have served half of their maximum terms to be freed"

[wanabidii] Tech toys for motorcycle heads

 
  
 
 
 
 

Here’s a bunch of ways of bringing Tech into your lonely motorcycle commutes or to spice up long rides out of town. 

 Tech toys for motorcycle heads 
 

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As opposed to the norm, these are halo products that will not get easily obsolete — they will continue to function well (sometimes over several years) though they may be more expensive to purchase initially. They will stay future proof, compatible an...

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Re: [wanabidii] A letter to ... My husband, who may be about to leave

Masikini ampenda mumewe

On Aug 31, 2014 11:05 AM, "Leila Abdul" <hifadhi@gmail.com> wrote:

We’ve been married 21 years and together for 25. It’s been three days since you told me you don’t love me any more. I cannot describe how that made me feel. It was as if I was watching something from a television drama, not real but viewed through a screen.

We were on the final day of what might to turn out to be our last family holiday and had taken a walk to a picturesque spot with our younger daughter. We had sat down and she had taken herself off to explore. I thought this would be a good place and time to talk. I pushed the conversation; your distance and our recent drifting apart prompted me. I thought it would be one more conversation in the “you spend too much time away from us, change instantly” variety that I’ve nagged you with over the years.

You said you hadn’t been happy, we seemingly want different things, you’re not sure that you can look forward to retirement with me. And now, the one constant in my life, your love for me, has seemingly evaporated. I think I’ve given it a bloody good push, though.

I could cry (and have done, a lot) at what I’ve done to our relationship. It was so good, loving and successful in so many ways. I know I’ve physically rejected you many times (why, I don’t always know) and you’ve never been anything but loving towards me, most of the time. You are considerate, thoughtful and a great lover, the best I’ve had. So why did I treat you this way? It seems completely irrational now that I’ve written it down.

I think I took you for granted, took your love for granted. But your messy ways and your taking me for granted also haven’t helped. You’ve always been demonstrative, which I thought would never change. But since we had the talk, you’ve almost been avoiding touching me, as if I’m repulsive, and that makes me die inside. We have made love since, as I have to try to save our marriage, and it has been fantastic as always.

I’ve told you how sorry I am, how I won’t change exactly, but will be a nicer version of myself. I’ve said I could cut my tongue out sometimes at what I say to you. And how proud I am at what you’ve made of your business.

You’ve told me that you can’t help the way you feel, that we do get on well, but asked if it is it enough, even though we have all of that shared history. And that you feel so put down by me. I’m so ashamed of myself.

We are going to go to Relate later this week when you are back from working away, and I did ask you if you wanted to salvage what we have or if you wanted to ease our separation.

You said you don’t know, you can’t give me a yes or no, so I don’t think it’s totally hopeless. But I do need to be realistic. I don’t want to face the rest of my life alone. You are so dear to me and have been my rock. It’s only now that I realise how much I do love you, and how stupid I’ve been. 

My weight issues have held me back over the past 10 years, but I have been exercising and have lost over a stone recently. I feel so much better about my body and, with only just over another stone to go, I willget back to a slim figure again. You have always complimented me on my appearance, but you have hardly commented on my reduction: a symptom of your feelings, clearly.

I may be stupidly hopeful, but it’s the only way I can survive right now.

We’ve only told one friend each – and agreed to keep it to the four of us until after a couple of family birthdays. I just hope that you will stay. We have so much together, I hope Relate can help us through. I know I’ll go on living whatever happens, but I think it will be a much emptier and loveless life for both of us. 

Your loving and very regretful wife

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/aug/30/letter-to-my-husband-who-may-be-about-to-leave?CMP=fb_gu

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