Re: [wanabidii] Can A marriage ever be stronger again after an Affair?

Dear Fatma and colleagues

I would like to share with you the topic ''Can A marriage ever be
stronger again after an Affair? '' My answer is yes because there a
number of techniques and innovations which are yet to utilized by
married couples. I qoute from Mort Fertel who advises that :
"Marriage Fitness is an innovative step-by-step relationship-changing
system that teaches you how to save your marriage. You'll learn to
neutralize your problems and put into practice a system of
relationship habits that will shift the momentum of your marriage. And
the best news is—you don't have to dig into your past, dredge up your
problems, or practice communication techniques".

He adds that "Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous
experience.
But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's
the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Either a husband or a wife
may TEMPORARILY fall in love with someone else and feel better. But
he/she'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because THE KEY
TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S
LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll
NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to
"make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression "the
labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most
importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your
marriage work. I am tempted to say that your spouse is an honest
person, he had decided to stop all rubbishes he was doing so as to
concentrate on his real marriage. More importantly he repented by
disclosing to you his relationship with another woman who he has
already kicked out. However, human being is a complicated animal, he
might be cheating you to see how you reacts to various situations. It
is not common to most of men, unless you catch him ready handed
otherwise he would have not disclosed it.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity),
there are also laws for
relationships. Certain habits in your relationship WILL make your
marriage stronger while ohters can make your marriage weaker. It's a
direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results
are predictable - you can "make" love. Make no mistake about it. Love
is NOT a mystery. There are a number of websites where you can get
more advises by relationships psychologists eg Mort Fertel. Take
time to think and Enjoy your marriage as it used to be before.






On Sun, Sep 16, 2012 at 4:46 PM, <kimdr53@gmail.com> wrote:
> Fatma I concur with some colleagues in this forum. Look, the guy has apologised after he ended that affair. He felt guilty and to off load the baggage he came to U not at any place but on summer vacation! Different environment from home, I can call it a neutral ground. This guy is very sincere to U and he Loves U more than U think. What he needs from U is to accept him wholly and fully despite his weaknesses. To error is human,and to apologise is the best way to come out clean despite of what transpired. You have kids together, they need both of U as one entity! So my advise is forget and forgive show your guy that U have started a knew page in your marriage life. You will bring back your confidence and self esteem. That will bring a spark in your love life and will ignite a smile and relaxation in your mind and for sure both of U will enjoy it!
> Wish U luck
>
> Idriss Mussa
> Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Orange Botswana
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Peter Lwegasira <petermakatu@yahoo.com>
> Sender: wanabidii@googlegroups.com
> Date: Sun, 16 Sep 2012 04:40:07
> To: <wanabidii@googlegroups.com>
> Reply-To: wanabidii@googlegroups.com
> Subject: Re: [wanabidii] Can A marriage ever be stronger again after an Affair?
>
>
>
>
>
> Fatuma,
> Your husband is testing you. Be careful! Did you catch him. Hell no! Then what pushed him to disclose about an affair which does not exist anymore? Your marriage is still stronger.
> ------------------------------
> On Sun, Sep 16, 2012 4:28 AM PDT mouddymtoi@gmail.com wrote:
>
>>Mpe mambo kama hajawahi kupewa kabla, don't ignore him in any circumstance, love him like you never loved before, bring back the trust and anything he deed tell him "I trust you so much" nimeingia cha kike kutoa msaada.
>>Mohamedi Mtoi Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone on the Tigo Tanzania Network
>>
>>-----Original Message-----
>>From: Fatima Husenali <husenalif@gmail.com>
>>Sender: wanabidii@googlegroups.com
>>Date: Sun, 16 Sep 2012 13:39:30
>>To: <wanabidii@googlegroups.com>
>>Reply-To: wanabidii@googlegroups.com
>>Subject: [wanabidii] Can A marriage ever be stronger again after an Affair?
>>
>> I just went through a very heartbreaking news from my husband on our
>>family vacation this summer that he has been in a relationship for almost a
>>year and he just broke it and now it's over and he wanted to apologize for
>>this.
>>
>>My jaws dropped and I lost my appetite right away, seriously I am very sad
>>right now,I trusted this guy with all my heart, we are doing very well, we
>>are both proffesionals and most of all we have *children together and he is
>>a very good Dad.
>>
>>I can't tell my family because they will have no more respect for him
>>especially my siblings of his age, I ve been dealing with this since June
>>and I'm about to burst, I feel numb and depressed everytime and now I stay
>>longer at work doing nothing just to make sure he is in bed before I get
>>home but he is always waiting for me.
>>
>>we have been to therapy and family councelling but you know I still feel
>>very hurt and unsettled.
>>
>>I think I have said enough for good readers (especially women)to understand
>>how I feel.
>>
>>And just so you all know, I am an average good looking proffesional woman
>>with kids,with a very good statistics and I actually just got
>>b.implants(9k), it's not easy going through surgery just cause you want to
>>spice up your sex life.
>>
>>Anyways my question is: Could a relationship/marriage can ever be stronger
>>again after an Affair? What's next for me?
>>
>>please this is not a joke, its real, be serious, thank you.
>>
>>--
>>Karibu Jukwaa la www.mwanabidii.com
>>Pata nafasi mpya za Kazi www.kazibongo.blogspot.com
>>Blogu ya Habari na Picha www.patahabari.blogspot.com
>>
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>>--
>>Karibu Jukwaa la www.mwanabidii.com
>>Pata nafasi mpya za Kazi www.kazibongo.blogspot.com
>>Blogu ya Habari na Picha www.patahabari.blogspot.com
>>
>>Kujiondoa Tuma Email kwenda
>>wanabidii+unsubscribe@googlegroups.com Utapata Email ya kudhibitisha ukishatuma
>>
>>Disclaimer:
>>Everyone posting to this Forum bears the sole responsibility for any legal consequences of his or her postings, and hence statements and facts must be presented responsibly. Your continued membership signifies that you agree to this disclaimer and pledge to abide by our Rules and Guidelines.
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>
> --
> Karibu Jukwaa la www.mwanabidii.com
> Pata nafasi mpya za Kazi www.kazibongo.blogspot.com
> Blogu ya Habari na Picha www.patahabari.blogspot.com
>
> Kujiondoa Tuma Email kwenda
> wanabidii+unsubscribe@googlegroups.com Utapata Email ya kudhibitisha ukishatuma
>
> Disclaimer:
> Everyone posting to this Forum bears the sole responsibility for any legal consequences of his or her postings, and hence statements and facts must be presented responsibly. Your continued membership signifies that you agree to this disclaimer and pledge to abide by our Rules and Guidelines.
>
>
> --
> Karibu Jukwaa la www.mwanabidii.com
> Pata nafasi mpya za Kazi www.kazibongo.blogspot.com
> Blogu ya Habari na Picha www.patahabari.blogspot.com
>
> Kujiondoa Tuma Email kwenda
> wanabidii+unsubscribe@googlegroups.com Utapata Email ya kudhibitisha ukishatuma
>
> Disclaimer:
> Everyone posting to this Forum bears the sole responsibility for any legal consequences of his or her postings, and hence statements and facts must be presented responsibly. Your continued membership signifies that you agree to this disclaimer and pledge to abide by our Rules and Guidelines.
>
>

--
Karibu Jukwaa la www.mwanabidii.com
Pata nafasi mpya za Kazi www.kazibongo.blogspot.com
Blogu ya Habari na Picha www.patahabari.blogspot.com

Kujiondoa Tuma Email kwenda
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Disclaimer:
Everyone posting to this Forum bears the sole responsibility for any legal consequences of his or her postings, and hence statements and facts must be presented responsibly. Your continued membership signifies that you agree to this disclaimer and pledge to abide by our Rules and Guidelines.