Fatuma,
Congratulations, because by the mere fact you had the courage to bring this issue in the open for discussion you have broken the barrier. You are now free and what you need is an assurance that you have done the right thing to say what you feel. Yes your relationship/marriage will get stronger because of three things. One your husband truly loves you and care for you because of love he had the guts to tell the truth because what he did (having a relationship) was bad for him and he was not proud of it. Two - Since you husband had the guts to admit his mistakes it will be very difficult for him to repeat it again because it is not easy for a man to admit his mistakes, therefore you are now assured that he will always be yours. Three - It is an opportunity to find out why did this affair start and happen in the first place and once you know the reason then you can prevent it. Probably without your knowledge you have been the source as you have not being paying enough attention to the needs of your husband or you had shifted you energy to the kids and work and forgot the big kid (hussband).
Aren't you luck to be in this position?. I bet you are because there are so many families that are cheating against each other while none of the two know or pretend not to know about it yet all of them are unhappy, afraid as they always think that one day the secret may be out. In the true sense of it these two people are not happy at all and the more they do it the more unhappy the become.
Therefore take this as an opportunity to prove to your husband that you can take a shot and still survive, forgive him, assure him your unconditional love and he will always remember you for being with him when he needed you most. The sense of feeling worthless and the anger you have is ok and normal but remember life is short and you must make yourself happy and nobody whoever he/she is has the right to make you unhappy. Why should actions of your man mess you up. The issue is how you take the news when he told you. You had the choice to take the news positively as an opportunity to know that you man can mess up and what will he do if he messes up like being able to come to you and tell you the truth which should make you happy and proud as you are more important to him than the other woman. The second option is to take the news negatively and become mad, angry with pain, frustrate yourself, mess up with your work, being unhappy, push yourself into useless relationship which will hurt you more. It means piling looses and looses to you and agree to be a looser of which you are not.
Wake and thank your man for being honest and loving and thank God for giving you such a wonderful man who has the guts and stamina to be himself and admit his mistakes. There are very few men who can say from their bottom of their heart "I am sorry".
Cheers
Herment
Congratulations, because by the mere fact you had the courage to bring this issue in the open for discussion you have broken the barrier. You are now free and what you need is an assurance that you have done the right thing to say what you feel. Yes your relationship/marriage will get stronger because of three things. One your husband truly loves you and care for you because of love he had the guts to tell the truth because what he did (having a relationship) was bad for him and he was not proud of it. Two - Since you husband had the guts to admit his mistakes it will be very difficult for him to repeat it again because it is not easy for a man to admit his mistakes, therefore you are now assured that he will always be yours. Three - It is an opportunity to find out why did this affair start and happen in the first place and once you know the reason then you can prevent it. Probably without your knowledge you have been the source as you have not being paying enough attention to the needs of your husband or you had shifted you energy to the kids and work and forgot the big kid (hussband).
Aren't you luck to be in this position?. I bet you are because there are so many families that are cheating against each other while none of the two know or pretend not to know about it yet all of them are unhappy, afraid as they always think that one day the secret may be out. In the true sense of it these two people are not happy at all and the more they do it the more unhappy the become.
Therefore take this as an opportunity to prove to your husband that you can take a shot and still survive, forgive him, assure him your unconditional love and he will always remember you for being with him when he needed you most. The sense of feeling worthless and the anger you have is ok and normal but remember life is short and you must make yourself happy and nobody whoever he/she is has the right to make you unhappy. Why should actions of your man mess you up. The issue is how you take the news when he told you. You had the choice to take the news positively as an opportunity to know that you man can mess up and what will he do if he messes up like being able to come to you and tell you the truth which should make you happy and proud as you are more important to him than the other woman. The second option is to take the news negatively and become mad, angry with pain, frustrate yourself, mess up with your work, being unhappy, push yourself into useless relationship which will hurt you more. It means piling looses and looses to you and agree to be a looser of which you are not.
Wake and thank your man for being honest and loving and thank God for giving you such a wonderful man who has the guts and stamina to be himself and admit his mistakes. There are very few men who can say from their bottom of their heart "I am sorry".
Cheers
Herment
> Date: Sun, 16 Sep 2012 04:40:07 -0700
> From: petermakatu@yahoo.com
> Subject: Re: [wanabidii] Can A marriage ever be stronger again after an Affair?
> To: wanabidii@googlegroups.com
>
>
>
>
>
> Fatuma,
> Your husband is testing you. Be careful! Did you catch him. Hell no! Then what pushed him to disclose about an affair which does not exist anymore? Your marriage is still stronger.
> ------------------------------
> On Sun, Sep 16, 2012 4:28 AM PDT mouddymtoi@gmail.com wrote:
>
> >Mpe mambo kama hajawahi kupewa kabla, don't ignore him in any circumstance, love him like you never loved before, bring back the trust and anything he deed tell him "I trust you so much" nimeingia cha kike kutoa msaada.
> >Mohamedi Mtoi Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone on the Tigo Tanzania Network
> >
> >-----Original Message-----
> >From: Fatima Husenali <husenalif@gmail.com>
> >Sender: wanabidii@googlegroups.com
> >Date: Sun, 16 Sep 2012 13:39:30
> >To: <wanabidii@googlegroups.com>
> >Reply-To: wanabidii@googlegroups.com
> >Subject: [wanabidii] Can A marriage ever be stronger again after an Affair?
> >
> > I just went through a very heartbreaking news from my husband on our
> >family vacation this summer that he has been in a relationship for almost a
> >year and he just broke it and now it's over and he wanted to apologize for
> >this.
> >
> >My jaws dropped and I lost my appetite right away, seriously I am very sad
> >right now,I trusted this guy with all my heart, we are doing very well, we
> >are both proffesionals and most of all we have *children together and he is
> >a very good Dad.
> >
> >I can't tell my family because they will have no more respect for him
> >especially my siblings of his age, I ve been dealing with this since June
> >and I'm about to burst, I feel numb and depressed everytime and now I stay
> >longer at work doing nothing just to make sure he is in bed before I get
> >home but he is always waiting for me.
> >
> >we have been to therapy and family councelling but you know I still feel
> >very hurt and unsettled.
> >
> >I think I have said enough for good readers (especially women)to understand
> >how I feel.
> >
> >And just so you all know, I am an average good looking proffesional woman
> >with kids,with a very good statistics and I actually just got
> >b.implants(9k), it's not easy going through surgery just cause you want to
> >spice up your sex life.
> >
> >Anyways my question is: Could a relationship/marriage can ever be stronger
> >again after an Affair? What's next for me?
> >
> >please this is not a joke, its real, be serious, thank you.
> >
> >--
> >Karibu Jukwaa la www.mwanabidii.com
> >Pata nafasi mpya za Kazi www.kazibongo.blogspot.com
> >Blogu ya Habari na Picha www.patahabari.blogspot.com
> >
> >Kujiondoa Tuma Email kwenda
> >wanabidii+unsubscribe@googlegroups.com Utapata Email ya kudhibitisha ukishatuma
> >
> >Disclaimer:
> >Everyone posting to this Forum bears the sole responsibility for any legal consequences of his or her postings, and hence statements and facts must be presented responsibly. Your continued membership signifies that you agree to this disclaimer and pledge to abide by our Rules and Guidelines.
> >
> >
> >
> >--
> >Karibu Jukwaa la www.mwanabidii.com
> >Pata nafasi mpya za Kazi www.kazibongo.blogspot.com
> >Blogu ya Habari na Picha www.patahabari.blogspot.com
> >
> >Kujiondoa Tuma Email kwenda
> >wanabidii+unsubscribe@googlegroups.com Utapata Email ya kudhibitisha ukishatuma
> >
> >Disclaimer:
> >Everyone posting to this Forum bears the sole responsibility for any legal consequences of his or her postings, and hence statements and facts must be presented responsibly. Your continued membership signifies that you agree to this disclaimer and pledge to abide by our Rules and Guidelines.
> >
> >
>
> --
> Karibu Jukwaa la www.mwanabidii.com
> Pata nafasi mpya za Kazi www.kazibongo.blogspot.com
> Blogu ya Habari na Picha www.patahabari.blogspot.com
>
> Kujiondoa Tuma Email kwenda
> wanabidii+unsubscribe@googlegroups.com Utapata Email ya kudhibitisha ukishatuma
>
> Disclaimer:
> Everyone posting to this Forum bears the sole responsibility for any legal consequences of his or her postings, and hence statements and facts must be presented responsibly. Your continued membership signifies that you agree to this disclaimer and pledge to abide by our Rules and Guidelines.
>
>
> From: petermakatu@yahoo.com
> Subject: Re: [wanabidii] Can A marriage ever be stronger again after an Affair?
> To: wanabidii@googlegroups.com
>
>
>
>
>
> Fatuma,
> Your husband is testing you. Be careful! Did you catch him. Hell no! Then what pushed him to disclose about an affair which does not exist anymore? Your marriage is still stronger.
> ------------------------------
> On Sun, Sep 16, 2012 4:28 AM PDT mouddymtoi@gmail.com wrote:
>
> >Mpe mambo kama hajawahi kupewa kabla, don't ignore him in any circumstance, love him like you never loved before, bring back the trust and anything he deed tell him "I trust you so much" nimeingia cha kike kutoa msaada.
> >Mohamedi Mtoi Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone on the Tigo Tanzania Network
> >
> >-----Original Message-----
> >From: Fatima Husenali <husenalif@gmail.com>
> >Sender: wanabidii@googlegroups.com
> >Date: Sun, 16 Sep 2012 13:39:30
> >To: <wanabidii@googlegroups.com>
> >Reply-To: wanabidii@googlegroups.com
> >Subject: [wanabidii] Can A marriage ever be stronger again after an Affair?
> >
> > I just went through a very heartbreaking news from my husband on our
> >family vacation this summer that he has been in a relationship for almost a
> >year and he just broke it and now it's over and he wanted to apologize for
> >this.
> >
> >My jaws dropped and I lost my appetite right away, seriously I am very sad
> >right now,I trusted this guy with all my heart, we are doing very well, we
> >are both proffesionals and most of all we have *children together and he is
> >a very good Dad.
> >
> >I can't tell my family because they will have no more respect for him
> >especially my siblings of his age, I ve been dealing with this since June
> >and I'm about to burst, I feel numb and depressed everytime and now I stay
> >longer at work doing nothing just to make sure he is in bed before I get
> >home but he is always waiting for me.
> >
> >we have been to therapy and family councelling but you know I still feel
> >very hurt and unsettled.
> >
> >I think I have said enough for good readers (especially women)to understand
> >how I feel.
> >
> >And just so you all know, I am an average good looking proffesional woman
> >with kids,with a very good statistics and I actually just got
> >b.implants(9k), it's not easy going through surgery just cause you want to
> >spice up your sex life.
> >
> >Anyways my question is: Could a relationship/marriage can ever be stronger
> >again after an Affair? What's next for me?
> >
> >please this is not a joke, its real, be serious, thank you.
> >
> >--
> >Karibu Jukwaa la www.mwanabidii.com
> >Pata nafasi mpya za Kazi www.kazibongo.blogspot.com
> >Blogu ya Habari na Picha www.patahabari.blogspot.com
> >
> >Kujiondoa Tuma Email kwenda
> >wanabidii+unsubscribe@googlegroups.com Utapata Email ya kudhibitisha ukishatuma
> >
> >Disclaimer:
> >Everyone posting to this Forum bears the sole responsibility for any legal consequences of his or her postings, and hence statements and facts must be presented responsibly. Your continued membership signifies that you agree to this disclaimer and pledge to abide by our Rules and Guidelines.
> >
> >
> >
> >--
> >Karibu Jukwaa la www.mwanabidii.com
> >Pata nafasi mpya za Kazi www.kazibongo.blogspot.com
> >Blogu ya Habari na Picha www.patahabari.blogspot.com
> >
> >Kujiondoa Tuma Email kwenda
> >wanabidii+unsubscribe@googlegroups.com Utapata Email ya kudhibitisha ukishatuma
> >
> >Disclaimer:
> >Everyone posting to this Forum bears the sole responsibility for any legal consequences of his or her postings, and hence statements and facts must be presented responsibly. Your continued membership signifies that you agree to this disclaimer and pledge to abide by our Rules and Guidelines.
> >
> >
>
> --
> Karibu Jukwaa la www.mwanabidii.com
> Pata nafasi mpya za Kazi www.kazibongo.blogspot.com
> Blogu ya Habari na Picha www.patahabari.blogspot.com
>
> Kujiondoa Tuma Email kwenda
> wanabidii+unsubscribe@googlegroups.com Utapata Email ya kudhibitisha ukishatuma
>
> Disclaimer:
> Everyone posting to this Forum bears the sole responsibility for any legal consequences of his or her postings, and hence statements and facts must be presented responsibly. Your continued membership signifies that you agree to this disclaimer and pledge to abide by our Rules and Guidelines.
>
>
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